Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain!

What the fuck is wrong with Surat???? Nice weather for a few days, then some dumbass flushes, and forgets to shut. I don't have any problems with rain, seriously(i mean, at least i get a reason to bunk class), but isn't this a wee bit too much? If this keeps up, i'm probably gonna get drowned (or "drowneded", as i remember saying during a big flood when i was 6). But i've always had history with the rain. Be it when i was 3 and ran out of the house to escape eating veggies in the pouring rain(I'd still do that! YUCK!!!) or when i was 6 and against my continuous pleas, was forced to go to school when the water was so high that it emotionally scarred my mental make-up for eternity.( I fell into rain water, then got splashed by a tata sumo and wound up in hospital with typhoid for 1 fucking month!). But i still like the rain, i just hate the slush in which most of our shit gets dumped into, mixes with rain water and then makes a splishy-splashy sound when we walk on it(that'll teach you to mess with puddles!!). So, what do you do in the rain? If you're the indoor sportsman, play AOE, CS, FIFA or any other game. If you're not, still do that!! Cos, in hostel, books are tough to come by, and study????? You'd rather i don't answer that you prick. OR another satisfying option is, get back into hostel after getting drenched, borrow your room-mate's laptop(without drying off properly) and end up ruining his happiness, write a blog to ruin everyone else's happiness, your health and your attendance(you think i'll get a med certi for fever??)!! Hope you "enjoyed" the blog . Cheers to the rain :)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Terrorism! The most terrorifying article yet!!

LOL, i guarantee you this one has been coming for a long long time!! Maybe you guys have seen the movie, blood diamond. Well, there was this dialogue, "RUF is fighting for the people. RUF is fighting for Sierra Leone!!". Hmmm, yeah, it makes sense.. They're fighting for people, and they go to villages and torture, kill, rape the people they're "fighting for"! At those times i wonder, what exactly are they fighting for? Sure as hell, they ain't fighting for the country. Then there's the fundamentalist Islamic terrorism! Bravo!! I swear, they've got the best scam ever! They tell people to take up the cause of jihad in terrorist schools, cause if they do blow themselves up, "they go to heaven!" Man, imagine the talking to god in heaven, it'll probably end up like this.
God:-So, how did you die?
Terrorist:- I blew up myself and 25 others in the name of god!
God:- How touching! For me? Then you will go to heaven, you'll get a deluxe suite!!

God:-What about you young man?
Terrorist(the WTC guy):- I flew a plane into a building, and killed thousands of Americans all in the name of god!
God:-What an achievement! You will get the best room in heaven.
Angel(whispering to god):- Mother Teresa occupies it sir!
God:-Send her to hell citing no vacancy due to the sudden influx in terrorists.

LOL, the poor cops who kill murderers and terrorists probably get sent to hell! I mean come on. There must be some sort of logic to this people. Maybe these guys are a bit ignorant, and they believe that killing innocent people is the only route to salvation?? I mean come on, is it even humanly possible to be that dumb? Hmmm..... That must be why they label terrorists as being inhuman monsters. Not because they're evil and have no conscience, but it's because they are too dumb to be human! But now we have to think, what about the people that are combatting terrorists? George W. Bush. Definitely the missing link in evolution and probably the only creature even dumber than the terrorists. How he got re-elected remains to be as mysterious as his strange human like behaviour! But you've got to give him credit, destroying almost half his army in an utterly futile war on terrorism requires beyond ape like intelligence. (i'm talking negative if u guys didn't get that.) So what's the solution for terrorism you may ask? Well, the best way to stop it is.... umm..... er....... Close down every terrorist training camp in the world? Nah, nah... that isn't possible. Maybe write more funny posts like this to make people realize how dumb they're being would be a nice one! So, what're you waiting for? Start spreading the message. But don't stop reading my blogs!! :D

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The pointlessness of a few movies.

Man, have you guys ever watched bollywood movies? I swear, some of them are just about as pointless as looking for corners in a circular room! A few days ago, i was bored out of my wits and decided to go and see this movie called Love Story 2050 with a friend of mine. It's got this crappy story where the guy goes to the future to go and find the (??) re-incarnation of his girlfriend who died while crossing the road. Dude, if i had a girlfriend as dumb as that, i'd rather just let her stay dead!! But anyway, after watching that fiasco, it made me realise that a helluva lot of bollywood movies are pretty much the same. The movie, Om Shanti Om... Oh my god!! Another re-incarnation movie! It was good i thought till the last bit. I don't mean the fact that the female's ghost comes back to kill her ex-husband(that was crap too though) but the part where the entire movie is summaried in one song!! I agree it was a long ( long long long long... yawn) song, but still, if i wanted to see the movie, i could have just seen the song! But these 2 movies are nothing compared to the shit that is Saawariya. I went for it one day in college with my friends. One of the guys had already seen the movie once and actually wanted to see it again (after the movie i understood that he was retarded). He kept coming up with statements like, "It's a superb movie da.","The story was awesome!"... So, all of us thought, ok ok jeez don't wet your pants. So, we went to the theatre, got probably the last available seats (cos we were sitting in the front row... Talk about horrible experiences!) and went inside. The movie started off with a crappy song. No surprises considering that almost all hindi movies start with really REALLY crappy songs. The sets were good, but we couldn't see them properly thanks to the bloody front row seats. And then the plot of the movie. I don't have the patience to tell you the characters so they're A,B and C.
A= a certain male who's only claim to fame so far is a song (in the aforementioned shit movie) is a song where he drops his drawers and prances around in a towel.
B=a certain female who's only claim to fame is.....???? I think her dad's another actor who's only claim to fame is....????(talk about lame!!)
C=a certain male who's got lots of claims to fame namely shooting an innocent little deer, running over street dwellers(I was just trying to help the overpopulation problem!), dating a seriously hot international model who's acting skills are a tad worse(unbelievable!!) than C's and having had an affair with the "most beautiful"(read Yuck!!) woman in the world. Whew!! some CV, oh yeah, he acts like a well chiselled block of wood(still a block of wood).

So here's the story, A loves B, B loves C ( no, C does not love A, Indian movies are yet to explore the subject of homosexual males thank goodness!!), so later on, C dissapears. B still loves C, but then she starts loving A. Just when she's about to accept A, C comes back, so B goes back with C. In the middle there's this prostitute D, who will be remembered as the only person in the movie who could actually act. She does.... well.... nothing, and becomes the narrator(what a waste of an actress!!). So now you get the meaning of what shit movies really are. At the end of the movie, we nearly slapped our friend to high heaven!! Never never ever am i gonna take his advice again!!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008


Yeah yeah, i know. Only an absolutely bored silly stiff would write this! But what the hell? I have time, seeing as how none of you "busy people" come online :D. No insult meant but heck, desperate times call for desperate measures. You ever noticed how when you're bored even time seems to be bored with you? Hmm.. I think that i have to thank god cause his intentions are pretty good. I mean, think about it, time is going slowly to be with you!! No offense big guy, bu you screwed up there! Make it go fast please!!! The worst feeling ever is when your friends are really busy in college and they envy you cause you're still on vacations! They're like, " Oh man! Your vacations are that long??!! That is so cool dude, 2 and a half months is like, forever! Our colleges suck, we get only one month or something like that." Do you guys really need any more than that?? I mean, come on!! Sit at home for yourself and see what it's like!You guys know how when you get high, everything slows down rite, now imagine the opposite. Everyone around you is in like 32x speed in your movie and you're sitting there, with dumb old father time watching everything else go by except for the old fogey sitting with you. At least on 32x speed the movie finishes fast, you must be thinking. Well....Beep... Try again wise guy, It's like 24 hours of 32x speed!! I bet that sucks huh? So, what do i do with so much time then? Sit down, read a book, drop another load of crap on you guys maybe? (Read the blog title genius!). But i'd say that at least the word makes sense read boredom means bore=dumb!! LOL! another thing that you can do is listen to songs about being bored. There's this one song called lonely day by System of a down, yeah the band with the guy who probably doesn't know what a trimmer is. They've got a few songs which really accelerate time!! Seriously, it's not just the music, quite a lot of your time will probably go in trying to figure out what the hell they're saying!! And now there is a weird co-incidence!! While i was typing this blog, the mp3 player on shuffle put out 3 SOAD songs in a row! I guess that gives you a measure of how bored I am by just noticing this stuff!! But anyway, time to find another way to kill time, so have a good one guys!

Monday, July 7, 2008

My first blog!!

What the hell??!! What am i doing here? Just about to write another bunch of rubbish for you people to read. Time to explain the irony of ragging!! Guys in the All-India anti ragging committee!! I congratulate you, you guys have done magnificently well to get rid of ragging in all the colleges of India. And that means really succeeded. It's brilliant! Seniors will not talk to juniors or interact with them in any way in the first semester in my college( the supposed rule). Attittude of seniors, "Dude!! Rules are meant to be broken!" But with all due respect, they did curb it. No physical torture or stuff. Just mental, for 7 F*****G MONTHS!! That's it, 7 months of bloody anti-ragging rules. Guys, seriously, your rules sucked worse than the ragging itself. So very honestly for the next batch of first years, it's Authorities vs. Seniors. And at the end of it, it's upto the first years to decide. Do they want it quick and painless or slow and painful? ( umm... I meant ragging guys, not mode of death). Because no matter what rules are there, the dumb fear of the seniors remains and that sucks worse than anything we can make you guys do. I remember when my seniors were ragging me, boy was i a glutton for punishment! Here's just one of the many faux pas i made!

Senior:-Dude, you see that really irritating senior right? ( irritating due to his appallingly bad poor jokes otherwise known as Mokkais)
Me:-Yes sir.
Senior:- That guy came from your school right?
Me:- Yes sir.
Senior:- How did they let in such creatures in your school?
Me:- Well sir, all of us had to write an entrance exam..
Senior:- Dude, please. Was that supposed to be funny?
LOL, poor guy could have slapped me for that one, but deep down i know he was laughing like a clown for that one!! But anyway juniors, remember, rules are meant to be broken. Life's more fun for you and us that way!!