Thursday, January 20, 2011

A swirling vortex......

Sleep is optional. Lack of it is a hallucinogen. Something else that works as well though, is a fully loaded mind. Ever had one of those experiences where you just stare off in space, blank as a sheet of A4 paper before it enters the printer? And at the end of it, that's just what's happening, you're blank. In your head is this swirling maze of issues, none of which are getting resolved or even close to getting resolved, and you can't fucking figure out which one you're thinking about at that second, or which one you were thinking of 10 seconds before. The worst part of it is, it just appears in flashes, long enough to keep you staring at space for a long long time..
So I sit down, open my laptop screen, stare blankly for 2 minutes wondering what the fuck I want to do? Which issue I want to think about? What I want to write about? Whether I should get to work on that project, that assignment, that article, wonder about what I should have done when, what went wrong where? And it starts again, Stare off into space, start listening to Pink Floyd, that soother of our oft childlike and confused souls. Start remembering the last time I got high, laugh about that, but then it's a flash again before the next thought replaces it in the vortex..
They say that when you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. IF that is the case, someone give me immortality. It's too confusing to sit and sift through all this shit without understanding where and what to think of at one time!
That's been me, for the past 1 and a half hours, I get like this sometimes, gets triggered by anything, but more particularly by a sudden spurt of activity in an otherwise dull monotonous life. Some people might even care to call it trauma. Too strong a word perhaps, probably might settle down any time between the next 5 minutes to the next 5 months.
But till whenever it does settle, I need my anaesthesia, bring on the Music...