Getting down with the sickness

"D-E-N-G-U-E and J-A-U-N-D-I-C-E"
              You wake up at 6 AM in the morning, or at 6PM in the evening. You don't know what's which. There's a clock in your room that keeps ticking, there's a bed that you lie in, there's a fucking TV on the wall. You can't move, you can't eat, you try to sleep but you're interrupted by the nurses walking in with their fake smiles, the fangs that they conceal behind the well brushed teeth.
           You have a needle in your hand that's supposed to be putting vital fluids in your body but it feels like it's sapping every ounce of life force out of you. The pain of the blood clotting remains long after the needle has gone.
          You get the bill, it's an insane amount for what seems to be more of making you sick and less of making you healthy.
      All this shit because a mosquito decided to bite me one morning.
                        

Life for dummies.....

        Here we are. As my physical manifestation has completed it's 22nd revolution around our very own star, the time for introspection begins. This isn't just for me anymore, this is for everyone that is probably reading this article or will ever read it. By the definition of all types of people out there, Socialist, Capitalist, Nihilist, Atheist, Fanatic, Academic, Drifter, Traveller, or just plain Psychopath, I am well and truly an adult now. To all those who think that we crossed that bitter threshold at the age of 18, you are well and truly mistaken. Human beings remain adolescents till 21, and at 21 they're still adolescents by virtue of their unwillingness to accept the mantle of responsibility that must be thrust upon them.
       Yes, Responsibility. A tabooed word till recently. You can claim that you were responsible as a child, but that claim can (rightly) only be met by ridicule. Do I accept the responsibility that I have? Well, frankly no.
      And the reason for this is very simple. Someone recently asked me (as a lot of people have asked me and probably you as well) what exactly it is I wanted to do with my life. To be honest, I don't really think I have a friggin' idea. And for very good reason. Because of a word that seems to confuse me (as it should you) very frequently. Happiness.
      Am I happy doing what I'm doing? Most certainly, the answer's no. Will I ever be happy doing what it is I'm currently doing? Well, again another no. It's just that any work that one does eventually tends to monotony and a lack of motivation. Do I think I'm particularly good at what it is I work on? Certainly not. Can I be better? Most definitely. Why am I not better? I don't know, and what scares me is that I don't think I'd care to find out.
      SO comes the next query. What would I rather be doing?
      It's funny, cos I'm pretty sure that most of the world thinks the exact same thing. No one I know is really happy with their job. Never-ending complaints about the pay, the working hours, the lack of motivation and the comparison to people with "better" jobs. The truth is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
      Why can we simply not be happy with who we are and what we do? Because if we were, we would cease to exist. As individuals and as a collective. The more progress a society makes, the more it is an estimation of general unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Why else would we try to outdo ourselves and everyone else even though all it would bring is some more material gain?
        The rat race is just what it always will be. We will run in it, we will earn money, we will have children and put them in it as well. You will claim that you are a non-conformist, that you would like to do what it is you're happy doing. But then that's just a load of bullshit isn't it? You will do whatever it takes to put food on the table. You will not become a journalist because you will earn peanuts doing it, you will not become a writer because you might die of starvation just before you get a book published, and you will not live off your parents till then because it might lead to the death of 3 people due to starvation instead of the death of just one. Besides, what will you do with a career like that? You contribute fuck all to the economy, you do nothing to enhance the progress of a nation and therefore you are stuck in your own paradox.
        We are met with disapproval regardless of what we do. It comes from people around you, or it comes from within. Both of which can kill you, if you choose to give a damn, which you probably will.
     

      "But then wasn't life supposed to be all about food, water, clothes, air, sleep, fun and sex?"
                                                                                                                                   -My Inner child

       Yeah. That's life for you. Eat, drink, cover up your privates, breathe, sleep, have fun and get laid. That's how simple it was supposed to be. Curses to complications.
        And if growing up has muted that voice in your head, fuck you....